In Loving Memory
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
In Loving MemoryThe following are v personal to me, so i hope u guys respect its content..
Listening to Alter Bridge's song In Loving Memory always, Always , reduces me to a teary mess..
Why, u ask?
The answer is simple. The song reminds me too much of my beloved grandma. Late Grandma, to be accurate.
Her smile never fails to ease me deep inside. I loved her so so much. My love for her exceeds the boundary that words can only faintly and merely describe.
She was always there for me. Encouraging. Picking me up whenever i took a tumble.
Unfortunately, it all ended a fews years back. U might wonder why I dont really put the exact years since she passed away.. It's not that i dont want to. Its just that i honestly cant remember. I cant remember such a painful day. Too painful. It all happened so sudden.. My brain just couldnt keep up with the shocking news of her death. However, there was one thing i remembered feeling that day. The feeling was v distinct.
Emptiness engulfed my mind, my soul, my heart, that v day.
It was excruciating. Unbearable.
A few days later, i found out that she had kept this small photo of me, when i was around 5 or 6 years of age?, in her purse. Omg. Then it suddenly struck me. I was her favourite grandson amongst all the others that she had. But yet.. BUT YET. I wasnt even there beside her when she was on her death bed.. She mustve wanted to see me - for the last time before she went. Just imagining her, holding back seconds, minutes, of the final moments of her life, expecting to see my face in front of her for just the last time.. It kills me,
..
...
....
..... Grandma, I am such a dissapointment.
I dont even want to bother asking for your forgiveness. Because, even if u do forgive me, I would certainly not forgive myself.
Fast forward to a couple of years back.. I still remembered the night after i bought my Alter Bridge album..
I had song no.7 going on repeat on my player.
That night i cried. Cried like a 1-year old infant. Cried myself to sleep.
I cant hold it all back anymore. I clould take the pain of reminiseing all those things she did for me when i was small.. The tears are like my overflowing pain. Regerets. Sorrows.
But.. I do want to thank her though. She was the main motivator during my Os. I recalled vividly that i always carried a passport sized photo of her in my pencil case everytime i sat for an O lvl paper. I would always look at it before begining each paper.
From her is where I draw my strength. I felt that shes there for me even after she has passed away. You're my salvation when im at my lowest. Your trully my Hero.
I want to thank you. Hope you're in a better place right now..
I love You. You will be always missed my me.
That's it. I cant bear to type anymore.
Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you´re always there for me
You´re always home waiting
And now I come home and I miss your face oh
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see
Chorus:
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
You were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you´re always there for me
You´re always home waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
Feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone
Chorus*
I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you'll be with me still
All you did you did with feeling
And you always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will
Chourus*
In Loving Memory
By Alter Bridge
@ 1:37 AM
Monday, October 02, 2006
Chao Da!Im reduced to a golden brown crisp after kayaking today!(you know those delicious yummy chicken? yea that sort of colour. lols)Wa.. That Jasmine also!! STILL DARE TO SAY I CANT PUT SUN TAN LOTION COZ SHE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO SEE ME AT NIGHT!... CHAO TURTLE!! wahahaha!Personally i want to get that kinda bronze tan.. U know... Like the Soler Twins.. Haiz.. But dun think i can achieve such things.. haha.. A guy can dream la..Anyway, today was damn FUN, not to mention damn tiring too! We learned a whole bunch of cool stuff about kayaking like how to do a J-stroke and a Classic draw.. haha. cool..It was very entertaining to see people trying to control their kayaks and paddle in a straight line.. Haha. Oh ya, Lene kept "appearing" in front of me everytime lor! And she kept banging into my kayak la. Lols.. Oh ya.. Yz almost made me go into feats of laughter when we were doing deep sea embarking today!! Hahaha.. She looked like she was trying to tame a wild beast like that! She couldnt climb into her kayak even after countless atempts lor. Haha.. V funny la she.. HAHAHA!!Oh wells.. will go thru the same things tml again.. Haha. Looking forward to it!!I WANT A TAN!!lolsEntry ends here la.. Tireeeedddd....... =)cheers.
@ 9:36 PM
Fan Jay.
MUSIC
Do you know them?
designer : kathleen
December 2005